Disclaimer: Thoughts and opinions expressed here are not meant to hurt any religious or political sentiments.
"A step you take when the luminosity fades is when the audaciousness should raise, however deep within should also surface sensibility that is driven by reasoning and a care for yourself"
RAPE seems to be the only word that we seem to hear on all news channels these days in INDIA. It seems to have founds its gravity in our Country claiming Women right to live with respect and dignity.
Be it a woman who is in her late 50’s or a kid who is 3 years old who is hardly aware of her sexuality are being subjected to sexual molestation. Your sister, wife, mother, child are all targets once they step outside the house. Likely to fall prey to those terrible monsters dwelling inside Men…once those beasts awake there is no turning back for them.
The incidents that have come to light recently have startled me beyond limits that words could explain. Be it Nirbhaya’s gruesome rape or Esther Anuhya’s heinous murder. Were they roaming around with skimpy outfits to be targeted and brutally handled with? The answer is a Big No. They were just one of us, loving daughter to their parents who were working hard to make their dreams come true. But they were forcefully put down to rest from their life, which still would have offered them the best if they lived.
These incidents have triggered my urge to seek the facts that we might have all been neglecting in our day-to-day lives. In office cafes or in roadside shops when the TV runs loud with reporters in all channels buzzing a BREAKING NEWS that happens in a neighboring state or even in a suburbs of the city you live in, all people do is curiously dive themselves into the details as the news channel reporter unravels but never seem to get into the reality that if it can happen to a girl in the suburbs or in the neighboring city it could happen to them as well as they too are very much dwelling in the same country.
As Urban Women we show a sense of insecurity for trivial things in life. We are scared about our career, status, and relationships and do everything that you can do to not break your hearts. Career, Status and Relationships are not trivial things but these are things that could be earned if lost or mended if broken. But the right to live with respect and dignity for women is getting dwindled in our society. ‘Have you secured yourself against it? ‘Is what I keep probing myself
When you are being subjected to sexual abuse, your husband, your boyfriend, your Brother or father cannot appear there or even the government (Police) cannot save you? Thousands are staging protest after a incident takes place for the government to take action against the culprits or to bring a change in the laws that act against criminals charged with rape or sexual abuse. But these protest die down in a day or two and again raise their heads when an incident reoccurs in some other part of the country.
Living in country with a whopping population of approx. 1.2 billion, Law and order maintenance is a dead man’s task and there is still a long way to go and there is still a long way to go before any such miracles happen in our country. Our population numbers has outwitted the government abilities to control and provide us the Security we women need.
You’re responsible for your Safety’ is what everybody needs to follow as a first step. You need to protect yourself.
Why should Nirbhaya embark a private bus on the fateful night? For a moment if she would have thought that at this time in the night should i get into a private bus? Things would have been totally different for Nirbhaya.
If the software engineer working for Tata Consultancy Services, Esther Anuhya as she alighted from the LTT - Express on jan5th at 4.45 am had given a wise thought for a second that it might not be safe for her to travel alone at wee hours and had made prior arrangements for her safety, things would have been different for this young engineer who had dreams to pursue higher studies in Germany.
No matter how much we speak volumes of the Culture and Traditions in our Country, nobody can deny the sexual heritage that we own. We are just in a state of utter denial unable to accept the darkness that clouds our otherwise rich culture and History. Temples that stand as a substantiation of existence of Neotantric Sex in 950AD exist in our country.
Maybe Sexual fantasies are in our roots. I seriously reckon that in order to curtail the growing unnatural sexual tendencies arousal between periods 950-1100 AD lot of norms were brought into the society to preserve the moralities in Mankind. Norms definitely got the weeds off.
And left behind a culture we could proudly claim ours. However with the high exposure to illicit content through media and other networks, has in recent times triggered the genes that were dormant all these centuries. More than 70% households in our country consider it immoral to discuss or even utter the word ‘SEX’ and it is this objection and denial that has even more aggravated the urge for it in mankind. Encountering a few stares as if piercing right through your bodies when you walk past donning a skirt or a pair of jeans with a skimpy designer blouse is not a very uncommon experience for women in our country.
It might sound a bit irrational in this generation to give a caution ‘to dress sensibly’. But remember there goes a saying ‘Be a roman in Rome’.
I don’t mean Women should never dress like they want to or travel alone and should be literally scared to step out of their houses. Step out of your houses but with a responsibility to take care of yourselves for the sake of those loved ones you have in your life without which their lives might just lose its wheels to run. Simple things we do might help us to remain safe to an extent we could afford without any regrets later on our denial to follow a simple precaution that might have stopped you from costing you, your happiness.
1. When you get into a taxi or auto look out for the license plate display in the auto and share those details with kith or kin.
2. Make prior arrangements to be picked up by a trustful friend or family member when you know that you’re arriving in the wee hours or late night.
3. Do not opt for private buses or cabs when travelling alone even if its your way back from office.
4. Don’t entertain strangers to pick up or drop you.
5. Dress sensibly not to attract attention
6. For women fostering kids educate them the difference between a ‘Good Touch’ and ‘Bad Touch’.
7. Learning any martial art form will be a strong weapon in this struggle to protect you.
8. Be aware of the auto driver’s cab drivers or school van drivers who pick up and drop the children after school.
9. In your run to make money for your child’s future please don't lose focus of your responsibility to protect them from evil lustful predators of this society.
What happened on the night of January 20 2014 in Birbhum district West Bengal is a testimony of the travesty that womankind are forced to bear in our country. A 20-year-old woman in West Bengal was gang-raped by 13 men on the orders of a Village court as punishment for having a relationship with a man from a different community.
Love making or Sex is according to me a mutually accepted enriching elevated experience of a state that exists between neither Life nor death though it’s very much a physical state of existence. Sexually assaulting a woman in order punish her sounds the most insane act ever.
This thought process of these illiterate and religiously possessed desperados will take ages to shun their beliefs and radical changes in the Social system can happen only when Sex is made a open, debatable and expressible phenomena. Sex education is a must both in urban and rural settings. This is where the government should take primary measures. This is definitely not something that can happen in short period. Changing a social system takes ages till then as women it’s our responsibility to protect ourselves from the lustful vultures, which are of huge social stigma to the very existence of mankind.