Shades of Love

 Reflection on Love: Perception and Individuality

Love is deeply subjective, tied to how each person perceives and expresses it. It takes on different

forms in our relationships—whether with parents, siblings, partners, or children.

For some, like me, love is intense, selfless, and deeply devoted—a "die-hard, hopeless kind of

love." When I love, I give it my all. If someone I love is in trouble, I’ll move heaven and earth to

help them. If they’re sad, I’ll do whatever it takes to bring back their smile. That’s how I show love

—by putting my whole heart into it. However over the years, I’ve come to a hard-earned realisation: not everyone loves the way I do. For some, love might come with boundaries or limitations.

Think about it: You might be someone who gives endlessly—thoughtful gestures, surprise gifts,

favorite meals—always trying to make your loved ones happy. But maybe your partner, family, or

friends don’t reciprocate in the same way. Does that mean they don’t love you? Not at all.

With time and maturity, I’ve learned that love isn’t always reciprocal in its form or intensity. People

have their own unique ways of expressing love, and it’s important to recognize and appreciate these

differences.

For instance, your mom might express her love by cooking your favorite meal. Your partner might

show it by ensuring your home is safe and secure. It might not look like the grand, romantic

gestures you offer, but it’s still love in its own form. Their way of saying, “I care.”

This realization hit me hard. As someone who loves with intensity, I’ve often felt lonely or even

depressed when I didn’t feel the same energy returned. But I’ve come to understand that it’s not

about how much someone loves you—it’s about how they show it.

Acceptance of these differences is essential. It reduces disappointment and helps you appreciate the

love you do receive. But it’s equally important to evaluate whether this dynamic works for you

long-term.

I won’t deny it—there have been times when I’ve felt drained, like I’m always the one giving more.

I’ve asked myself, “Am I giving too much? Am I expecting too much?” And the truth is, when you

give love with expectations, you set yourself up for disappointment.

The hardest lesson I’ve learned is this: love is your choice. You can choose to love without

expecting it to look the same in return. And if the balance doesn’t work for you, it’s okay to

reassess. What matters is finding peace in your heart and relationships.

There’s a fine line between accepting someone’s way of loving and submitting to a dynamic that

leaves you unfulfilled or hurt.

• Acceptance is about understanding and embracing the differences in how love is expressed.

It means recognizing that your loved ones may not mirror your intensity but appreciating

that their love is still genuine. Acceptance brings peace—it allows you to focus on the love

that exists instead of mourning what’s missing.

• Submission, on the other hand, happens when you begin to compromise your emotional

needs to the point of self-neglect. It’s when you stop advocating for yourself and settle for a

version of love that doesn’t meet your core needs. Submission often leads to resentment,

emptiness, and heartache because, deep down, you’re not at peace with the dynamic—

you’re just enduring it.The distinction lies here: acceptance feels like choosing peace, while submission feels like giving

up on yourself.

So, if you’re someone who feels like you’re giving more than you’re getting, or if you feel unloved

because love doesn’t look the way you expected, take a moment. Pause. Look at the people in your

life. Reflect on the quiet ways they might be showing love. And if it still feels like too much to bear, remember: you have the power to choose how much to give and what kind of love works for you.

Shifting your mindset can ease feelings of loneliness or sadness stemming from unmet expectations.

By accepting and embracing the way others show love, you can strengthen relationships and find

emotional balance. Many struggles in relationships arise from expecting love to be returned in the

same way. Letting go of this expectation can resolve emotional conflicts and pave the way for

healthier, more fulfilling connections.

Love isn’t a universal formula—it’s a spectrum of feelings, expressions, and boundaries. By

understanding this, you minimize frustration and allow your relationships to thrive. Acceptance is

an act of love—for others and yourself.